Uburyo butanu bwagufasha gukomeza kubaho nyuma yo gutandukana n'uwo mwakundanye

Sinashoboraga kurya. Sinashoboraga gusinzira. Ni gute umuntu wambwiye ko ankunda kandi ko anyitaho cyane, yashoboraga kunsiga akigendera? Ndibuka rimwe mu gitondo nari mbyutse, nkongera kwibuka iherezo ry'umubano wacu twari tumaranye imyaka ibiri bitari inzozi mbi gusa. Sinari ntuje mu mubiri, kandi numvaga mfite agahinda kenshi n' umubabaro. Ese nari kuzongera kugira ibyishimo?
Ikibabaje kurushaho, nuko uwo musore yabonaga ko ari byiza ko dutandukana, ariko akifuza ko menya ibyiyumviro yari agifite kuri njye, anifuza ko dukomeza kuba "incuti". Nuko, buri wese yerekeza kuri kaminuza ngo dutangire umwaka wa kabiri w’amashuri, mu rujijo rw’ibyiyumvo bigoye gusobanura.
Mu gihe cy'amezi atatu, buri gihe nanyuzaga amaso mu butumwa bwo kuri interineti buherekejwe n'izina rye, cyangwa akampamagara kuri telefoni, cyane cyane iyo yansabaga ko twabonana mu kiruhuko cy'Umunsi w'Umuganura ( muri USA uwo munsi witwa ‘Thanksgiving’). Mu by’ukuri, natekerezaga ko agiye kumbwira uburyo ankumbuye cyane kandi ko yifuza ko twasubirana. Ariko amasaha menshi yamaze tuganira, ntiyigeze agaragaza ubushake bwo gusubirana. Ubwo nabimubajijeho, amagambo ye yarankomerekeje, agira ati: ‘Uri nka mushiki wanjye muri Kristo.’
Incuti zisanzwe?
Icyo gihe ni bwo nabonye ko kuba "inshuti zisanzwe" bitari kumfasha gutera imbere. Nari ndimo mbaho mu buryo nifuzaga ko bwabaho, aho kubaho mu buzima buriho. N’ubutwari bwose nahise nsaba uwo muhungu twakundanaga ko arekera kumpamagara no kunyoherereza ubutumwa kuri telefoni no kunshakisha. Byari bigoye cyane gukomeza kwiringira ko twari kuzongera gusubirana. Kuba narateye iyo ntambwe ikomeye ngana imbere, hamwe n'imibabaro yose byazanye, byatumye nsoma Bibiliya yanjye nshyizeho umwete kuruta mbere hose. Nari ndimo nshakisha ibyiringiro mu mutima wanjye wari warashenjaguwe. Zaburi yari nk'umuti wihumure wamvuraga ububabare bw’umutima wanjye:
Uwiteka aba hafi y'abafite imitima imenetse, kandi akiza abafite imitima ishenjaguwe. Amakuba n'ibyago by'umukiranutsi ni byinshi, ariko Uwiteka amukiza muri byose. (Zaburi 34:19-20)
Mutima wanjye ni iki gitumye wiheba? Ni iki gitumye umpagararamo? Ujye utegereza Imana, Kuko nzongera kuyishimira agakiza kayo. (Zaburi 42:6)
Kandi isezerano ryo muri Zaburi 84:12, ry'uko Imana itazagira ikintu icyiza yima abagenda batunganye, cyari igitare nikomezagaho igihe namukumburaga cyangwa nkageragezwa no kutiringira umwanzuro wanjye. Kuba narahisemo kutongera kuganira n'uwo twahoze dukundana, byari ikimenyetso cy'uko niringiye Imana. Nubwo nahoraga nifuza kumuhamagara ku bintu runaka, cyangwa gushaka impamvu z'urwitwazo zo kohererezanya ubutumwa bugufi kuri telefoni. Kwiringira isezerano riri muri Zaburi ya 84:12 byamaye imbaraga.
Naratekerezaga nti 'niba koko ankunda kandi akaba yifuza ko twongera gusubirana, yazanshaka n'umutima we wose.' Hagati aho, njye nari nkeneye kubireka bikarangira, nkakomeza ubuzima.
Uburyo butanu bwagufasha gukomeza kubaho nyuma yo gutandukana n'uwo mwakundanye
Vuba aho nabonye ubutumwa butandukanye bw'abasiribaterikazi bibazaga uko bashobora guhangana n'agahinda n'irungu rizanwa no gutandukana n'abo bakundanye. Umukobwa umwe ukiri muto yumvaga ko yagombaga gukomeza kugirana ubucuti n'uwo bahoze bakundana kugira ngo amwereke urukundo rwa Kristo. Yasobanuye ukuntu byamubabaje cyane igihe yatandukanaga na we, n'ukuntu byamubabazaga kumubona hafi buri munsi ku kazi. Nyamara kandi, uwo mukobwa yamusabye gukomeza kuba incuti ye n'ubwo bari mu bihe bitoroshye.
Nzi neza ko buri mubano uba wihariye, kandi sinshaka kwitwara nk’uzi ibisubizo byose by'ibibazo byabo. Ariko ndashaka kuburira abaseribaterikazi ko batagomba gutekereza ko bashobora gukomeza kuba "inshuti bisanzwe" n'umuntu bari bamaze igihe kirekire bakundana. Incuro nyinshi, umwe muri bo aba afite ibyiyumvo ku wundi, kimwe nanjye, nshobora kuba nizeye mu ibanga ko gukomeza kuvugana na we bizatuma twongera gusubirana.
Gushyira ibyiringiro byacu mu mubano mushya w’abahoze bakundana aho kubishyira mu Mana no mu migambi idufitiye biteza akaga. Nabonye abakobwa bakiri bato benshi bakomeza kwibabaza bitewe no kwizirika ku kintu kitari gombwa. Bityo rero, niba muri iki gihe wumva ufite agahinda, ukumva ushaka gukomeza kwandikirana cyangwa kuvuganana n'uwo mwahoze mukundana, tekereza kuri ubu buryo bukurikira bwagufasha gukomeza ubuzima no kwiringira umugambi w'Imana.
1. Zirikana Ibyanditswe Byera
Imyaka ibiri yakurikiye icyo gihe cyo gutandukana, akenshi nyita "imyaka yo gukura mu buryo bw'umwuka". Umubabaro wo mu mutima watumye nshakisha mu Byanditswe ihumure n'ibyiringiro. Reka Imana ikoreshe imibabaro yawe kugira ngo ikuyobore ku masezerano yayo atanga ibyishimo bidashira, imbaraga n'ibyiringiro.
2. Jya wifatanya n'Abakristo bagenzi bawe.
Nyuma yo gutakaza umuntu wakundaga kumarana igihe na we, ukeneye ko abandi bakwegera kugira ngo bagutege amatwi kandi barusheho kukwereka Kristo. Inshuti namenyeye mu murimo w’ivugabutumwa muri kaminuza zambereye umuyoboro ukomeye w’ubufasha (byumwihariko umugore wari ukiri muto wamaze imyaka ine anyigisha muri icyo gihe kitari cyoroshye).
3. Komeza gukorera abandi.
Rekera kwirebaho n’agahinda ufite ahubwo ushake uburyo wakorera abandi (1 Petero 4:19). N'ibiki by'ingenzi itorero ryanyu rikeneye ushobora gukora? Ese hari ifunguro ushobora gutegurira umubyeyi ukibyara, urubyiruko ushobora guhugura, cyangwa gutegura urugendo rw'ivugabutumwa muri gahunda zawe? Mu mpeshyi nyuma y'aho dutandukaniye n'uwo twakundanaga, nagiye mu ivugabutumwa amezi abiri mu kindi gihugu. Uwo ni umwe mu myanzuro myiza cyane nafashe, kubera ko watumye nongera kugira imbaraga mu buryo bw'umwuka no mu buryo bw'amarangamutima.
4. Jya wigendera kure hashoboka.
Mu mwaka wakurikiyeho nyuma yo gutandukana kwacu, nagiye kwiga mu mahanga muri Espagne. byashyize intera hagati yacu twembi, nta buryo bwo guhurira ahantu henshi, byamfashije gukomeza gutera imbere. N’iyo mwabonana mu biro, ntimukagire icyo muvugana cyangwa ngo muganire.
5. Wizere ko Imana iri kumwe nawe, itari kukurwanya.
Ntazagira ikintu cyiza yima abagenda batunganye (Zaburi 84:12). Imana isezeranya komora ibikomere by’ imitima imenetse. Irungu n’agahinda bizagabanuka mugihe uhanga amaso Yesu kandi ukizera ko ashobora guhaza birenze cyane umubano uwo ariwo wose.

Stacy Reaoch (@StacyReaoch) ni umwanditsi w’igitabo "Beautiful Freedom: How the Bible Shapes Your View of Appearance, Food, and Fitness" (Ubwigenge Bwiza: Uko Bibiliya Igira uruhare mu buryo ubona isura, ibiryo n’imyitozo ngororamubiri). Anandika buri gihe ku rubuga rwe bwite. We n’umugabo we Ben batuye i Pittsburgh, muri Leta ya Pennsylvania, hamwe n’abana babo bane.


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